The picture on the left was taking 5 years ago when I was in the middle of my drinking days, unhealthy, had no idea where I was in my life. In the months before I dropped out of University to take care of court costs from a DUI, right after I lost a job from day drinking before work, wrapped my car around a tree, had to literally leave Ohio to get out of the trouble I couldn’t seem to escape and moved to North Carolina. This picture was taken while we were at the beach and I was trying to learn how to balance drinking alcohol with life. But I know that I’m completely wasted in this picture because I never understood the concept of balance. I had crossed the invisible line and was never going back. I would convince myself that I knew when to stop but would never show it. I would convince others who loved me and were concerned that I was okay and I got it under control. I would do things others wanted me to do just so they would get off my back about drinking and over look my mistakes or bad habits. I was a people pleaser that lived off of being put down, judged, cheated on, talked about, lied to, verbally abused, harshly criticized, ALWAYS taken advantage of, and gave up on the girl my first 25 years of my life had worked for. I was done. I was gone. I knew I would self medicate for the rest of my life because I was shit and there wasn’t anything or anyone who could tell me other wise.
I was so lost in my depression that alcohol would bring me out of.
I was so hopeless in my depression that alcohol would keep me in.
Though I had successes in the following three years, over coming alcohol wasn’t one of them. I got back in university and graduated while getting two promotions at my job. I landed a kick ass corporate job in Raleigh only a couple of months after graduation. I found the greatest man a girl could ask for (and luckily I’m still with him ♥️). And I was on my way to ruling the world.
Until alcohol almost took it all away from me.
In Spring of 2017 I went to Intense Out Patient Rehab and learned that I’m not shit. I can get back to who I am. I’m able to have everything I’ve ever dreamed of AND MORE! I learned that some people have a rough road that they can get through. I learned I can still have a kick ass job and still rule the world.
The picture on the right was taken a month ago after Kevin and I sat on the beach talking about the plans I have of what all Wreckless can be. We game planned and brainstorm of how to start (can’t wait for September 23rd!) and what the next steps will be and what we will add over time. If I could ONLY TELL YOU EVERYTHING that we truly believe this will grow into, you would think I’ve picked up the bottle again!! I’m not kidding!
The picture of the lady on the right is me. Healthy. Eating right. Keeping my mind right. Drinking a piña colada mock-tail (pineapple coconut spark 😁) and on a family vacation with everyone who has seen my dark sides of alcohol. I have dreams. I have goals. I have my team beside me to help and encourage me along the way. I have everything I could have asked for because I was able to get myself back. I still have to hustle every day for it but now I can do that fully functioning.
The difference I saw in myself when I decide to change things is so remarkable that I almost can’t believe the girl on the left ever existed.
It is possible to get out of a rut. It is possible to get life back. It is possibly to have dreams and goals that are ACTUALLY achieved. It is possible because people CAN do it. Most people can do it while not having to quit drinking but I CANT! And there are others out there like me!
The Wreckless is a safe community where people can come and be who they are. They can get away from their reckless life style and find solitude in knowing they don’t have to prove themselves to anyone but their true self. This isn’t just for alcoholics like me. This is for everyone. For everyone who knows they are in a place where they don’t want to be in and need shelter and help to get out of it. For everyone who struggles with substance abuse, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, OCD, and the list goes on. Mental disorders is the root cause of most abuse we put ourselves through or allow ourselves to take and we can manage it and live a healthy life. We just have to believe in ourselves again and learn that there is more to this life.
Join this community and learn how to overcome yourself and walk away from your reckless life style to live a Wreck-less one.